Okedokee. time for an update. There are so many things I love about being there... like, I am becoming addicted to the fact that I live 7 minutes away from 24-7 praise and worship: 
... and can crash in the prayer room any time I want to. (this picture is the sanctuary since it's been redone..) I totally love that even if I go there in the wee hours, there is still a party going on with the awesome, close knit night watch crew! ... and, check it out - the 12 and unders practicing leading their own worship: 
 I mean really. It was love at first sight. They don't meet regularly yet, but how awesome that they have this together..
Since I've been here, I have been drawn to new forms of worship: 
I'm also, of course, excited that I got cleared to sing on worship sets! That's going to be totally fun to jam with people when I get around to it. And yep.... Anyone who knows me knows that I do not sit still for very long. So, I was laughing when I realized, that within my first week of being at IHOP I had already plugged in to help with a conference, a youth camp, the prophetic team, a bible study, and.. and.. well... yeah. But the more I got into those things, (which, I had a blast, because the point of that was so that I could make some new friends there and connect with people, and enjoy some new facets of life and release), the more I realized that this was not all that God was after in me. And now, as the layers of the last season are coming off, it's becoming very clear that what He is after, is me. He has pretty much hand picked me, taken me out of pulling double duty of work and ministry. He has pretty much surgically removed me from of my spiritual family. He has even separated me out from my precious roommates and even my house. It has been a very confusing few months as I have been trying to hear what He wanted from me in this transition. To be honest, I had really hoped that I would have some tangible answer to prayer in the form of a promotion or promise come to pass that I could point to in some kind of way that would, in my own heart, make sense of why He would take me out of or prune so many things I loved. Help it not to sting so much. After all, pruning means growth, right? There have been no such "ah hah" moments. At least, not in any tangible ways. Finally, at a point of surrender, last week, I asked God to show me anything He wanted to reveal to me. In my own heart, I pretty much told Him, "You got me. I'm here. Talk to me." He kept bringing me back to the story of Beauty and the Beast. yep. Beauty and the Beast. But I didn't grow up with the Disney version. I grew up with a more traditional version, and one of my favorite books as a child, that God was calling to my rememberance was this: 
NOT the Disney version. I was a little taken aback by the fact that God was bringing up this story. But what He was revealing to me was this: Things had not been easy in the last season for my spiritual family (my fathers house). I loved my "fathers house", but I have been removed from there, by the hand of God. To be quite honest, the way that I was removed was a little rough on my heart. Felt a little "beastly" to me. ha ha. God knows that. He took me away anyway. Now that I'm in His new "house" - I am well provided for. Not as much stress. I have so much available to me, spiritually. It's peaceful here. But I still miss my family. And my heart is still troubled sometimes. And, what He was showing me was this: Honestly, the place where I've been at with God reminds Him of when the Beast, every night, would ask Beauty to marry him, and she would reply, "Beast, I love spending time with you, but I cannot marry you, because I do not love you.." This is because, though of course I love God, and He's been my husband for a long time, the way that He treated me in the last season caused my heart to feel unfamiliar with His ways. It was difficult for me to discern His heart or trace His handiwork in how the external things in my life have recently panned out. It's been more difficult to recognize Him for who He is, and be close to Him. I believe that what He is saying to me, is that He brought me away from all of these things that I love, in order to both provide for me, and to show me a "different face" of who He is as I spend time with Him. He wants to show me the face of Him, as my Prince who loves me, wants to share all of His goodness with me that I can handle (thank you Billy, for that awesome sermon!), and He is telling me, that he is that jealous and lovesick for me. And it brought to mind so many scriptures and passages, especially this one: Psalm 45:10-11 (New International Version)
10 Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father's house. 11 The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord. .... Could it really be that He took away ministry, my family, and even my house, just because He is lovesick for me? .... just to show me a different face? .... just for me to honor Him as Lord? I think the answer is yes. Sometimes I don't understand it. I miss many of you. Sometimes it feels like it would be easy to go back and live a life of hard work (double duty) in my fathers fields. After all, I didn't really mind it, and even loved it. Not only that, but it's a little embarrassing that He is trying to tell me that my life is paralleling a fairy tale that most people equate with talking teapots and candlesticks. It's a scary thought, just to see Him take me out of everything I've loved, just to see more of who He is. But then again, He knows, despite all my protests, that I signed up for this. He knows that I would never have been happy with anything less than to know Him, above all of those other things.. Go ahead Lord, write my fairy tale...  | 
